We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
