you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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