you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
17 year olds will be the death of me.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
