So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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