I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
