you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
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