Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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