Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
