That's when you crack a 10am beer
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
