You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
