there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
