I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
