with your own penis?
and you said cock pushups were impossible
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
