Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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