Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
