this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
