ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Randomize