I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
