yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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