Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
