I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Say something about gay babies.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
