I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize