We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
