I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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