Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
