We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
