Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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