THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
