i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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