when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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