Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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