Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
