We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
