A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
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