um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize