just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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