ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
