i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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