Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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