Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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