Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
