Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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