I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
