this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I wish you could order shots online.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
