I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
