Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize
