$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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