Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize