Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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