ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
