my mouth tastes like poor choices
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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