We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Randomize
