She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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