It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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