Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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