That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
