I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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