I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
