i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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