Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I will be naked everywhere
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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