so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
