I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
