just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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