I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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